The Democratic Republic of Inner Albania is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Paweł Piątek with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 9.054 billion Inner Albanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Inner Albanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,345 trillion leks a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 148,643 leks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, cops in New Tirana spend much of their time napping on a park bench next to Embassy Row, and drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Albania's national animal is the white-tailed eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Inner Albania is ranked 52,662^nd in the world and 552^nd in the South Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 271.86 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.